Someone to Watch over
by jibber59
Summary: When Ezra is involved, things are rarely as they appear to be. (Warning for adult language.)
1. Chapter 1

The doors to the emergency care ward slid closed as Ezra watched the gurney disappear from sight. JD looked so pale, almost as white as the sheet draped over him. He was fairly certain he'd heard the doctor, or maybe it was the paramedic, saying something about the breathing being good. That was a hopeful sign. Still, the young agent had been unconscious for so long. And was so damned pale.

Ezra stared down at his hands and the alarming amount of blood there. And on his clothing. The edges on some of the stains were starting to dry just a little. When he curled his hands to fists he could see the blood crack at his knuckles. God, there was just so much of it. He remembered holding JD, and trying to pull him from the line of fire when hell broke loose. He'd done what he could to check his injuries. That must have been when he got soaked.

He remembered calling out ATF and 'agent down' over and over as the local cops closed in on the scene. It must have worked. They weren't arrested, and an ambulance arrived quickly. The paramedics moved him aside and took over. He remembered the relief he felt seeing Sergeant Banner at the scene – maybe that was why no one had challenged him. Banner knew Larabee's team from previous times when their paths had crossed.

Ezra knew he would have to remember to thank the sergeant for getting him to the hospital. They'd driven off while JD was being loaded onto the gurney, and escorted the ambulance. Banner had promised to contact the rest of the team when he dropped Ezra off.

The team. Oh, dear God. Chris was going to be pissed at him. They all would. How could he have let JD get so badly hurt? It shouldn't have happened. They weren't even at the scheduled meet with the suspects. This was supposed to be nothing more than advance scouting. He and JD were scoping out the area for much later in the day. The gun buy wasn't set until nightfall when they would finally bring down the scum dealing in stolen surplus military weapons. How had it all gone so wrong?

They'd been there only a few minutes when Ezra thought he heard something. "You're just anxious" JD had assured him. "Can't wait to be done with this. Buck told me you had weekend plans – flying down to New Orleans. Got a big date planned?"

"Card game. Invitation only, and quite a privleg-". He had stopped himself, certain this time there had been a noise. JD was looking at him when Ezra saw the movement from above. He leapt forward, slamming himself into the younger man as the shooting started. The momentum drove both toward storage crates in the back alley. As he dragged JD to deeper cover he started to reach for his weapon even as he registered there was no clear shot to take. He was too far back to be able to take out the sniper.

How could he have been so stupid? Why had he not foreseen the possibility – probability – of a sentry? The only likely reason they were still alive was the fortunate arrival of the local cops. Certainly his own actions hadn't saved them. Yes, Chris would be pissed. Josiah, Vin, Nathan – they'd all be disappointed in him. Again. And Buck? Well he was going to be homicidal. No other word for it. And if – dear God forbid – JD didn't survive, none of them would ever forgive him. Nor should they. Still, it wouldn't be a long life of guilty suffering. Buck would follow through on the homicidal feelings in an instant.

He had no idea how long he'd been staring at the doors when his thoughts were interrupted by a young woman in scrubs.

"You'll have to come with me Agent. I'm sorry, I didn't get your name from the officer who dropped you off."

"Standish." He answered without taking his eyes from the door.

"Agent Standish, I have some paperwork here. For your friend. Do you think you can fill these out for me?" She guided him over to a chair in the waiting area.

 _She's good._ the distraught man thought. _Distract the stricken relative or friend. Keep them busy to avoid having them slip into shock, or hysteria. Or guilt_. Too late for that one. He would have to fight to avoid the other emotions.

"Why don't you take a look at them and see how much you can answer for us. I'll get you a cloth and towel so you can clean up some. See if I can find something for you to change into."

He stared down at the standard bureaucratic red tape she'd left for him. Name, address, phone. Basic stuff. Medical history? He figured he could cover the basics there too. No allergies, no medications. They'd all been down this road enough to know each other too well.

Next of kin? Easy. Buck Wilmington. Maybe nothing legal there, but the role was undeniable. Big brother. Protector. Avenger. Like Chris and Vin – a perfect team. Even Nathan and Josiah were matched up, in large part because of the amount of time they spent at the same community outreach programs. It crossed his mind fleetingly that he had no next of kin he would fill in on his own paperwork.

He wasn't fully aware of the nurse taking the form and leaving him with a towel, bottle of water and a set of scrubs. They all sat untouched on the chair beside him. "I'll be back when I have news. Drink your water." He just nodded mutely.

The stampede that entered the room a few minutes later stopped short when they saw him sitting perfectly still, covered in JD's blood. Again, stupid. He should have changed. They didn't need to see this mess. Why was his brain simply not functioning?

"What happened?" "What did the doctor say?" Vin and Chris asked simultaneously.

"No word yet. He's being examined. The nurse said she'd let me know." He raised his eyes to meet them, unable to find the strength to stand. "I don't know what happened. We were blindsided."

"You walked him into a trap? What the fuck were you thinking Standish? What the hell is the matter with you?"

"I'm sorry Bu- Mr. Wilming-"

"Save it. I don't give a rat's ass about sorry. You were supposed to have his back. That's what partners are supposed to do. The kid doesn't go undercover, but he wanted to do this. You said you could watch him. Take care of him." Each sentence brought him a step closer to Ezra, and he reached out to grab the blood stained lapel, pulling him to his feet. "Hell of a job you did."

Chris pulled his hand away. "Back off Buck. This ain't helping. Nathan, go see what you can find out. You know these people – get them to talk to you."

Ezra dropped back into chair, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. He had no answer to give. Buck turned away and Chris took a deep breath. Crisis averted – for the moment. "Vin, go talk to Banner. See what you can find out, including how the hell the locals got there so fast." At the hesitation he spun the man and pushed him toward the door. "Go. I'll let you know as soon as we get word."

Josiah moved to join Buck, hoping to calm him some. Chris pointed at the items on the chair beside Ezra. "We're gonna need your clothes for evidence. Get changed." They likely wouldn't really need anything, but getting him out of that mess would be easier on all of them. Ezra sat, unmoving, and Chris merely sighed and went to join the other members of the team on the far side of the waiting room. He watched as the hands moved slowly on the clock. Talk faded into simple words – "coffee?", water?", "what the hell is taking so long?". Ezra remained quiet and still.

Buck made the move to stand at one point, aiming himself toward Ezra. Josiah held him back. "Not going to do anybody any good right now. Leave him be till we have answers. Don't do something that will end up getting you kicked out of here – or worse." Another 20 minutes passed and Buck was ready to make another move when the access door slid open. The tired smile on Nathan's face allowed everyone to relax.

"How's he?" "What happened?" "Can we see him?" Nathan looked puzzled by the barrage.

"Didn't the nurse come out?"

"Nobody told us anything. We've been here two hours so tell us – how bad is he hurt?"

"He's fine Buck. They're gonna keep him overnight for observation, but he's fine. Cracked his head when he hit the ground, luckily just a mild concussion. Busted his arm, but it's a clean break. It was the shock and pain that had him out of it."

"That took over two hours to figure out?"

"No, there was a bus crash. Chaos back there. I was trying to give them a bit of help. Sent someone out to update you all, but I guess it got lost in the shuffle. Sorry guys."

Buck felt the anger draining from him. No, not the anger. The terror. Terror he had taken out on Standish without knowing any of the details. He should have been mad at the bastards who did the shooting. He could process that thought now. But they weren't there, and Ezra was. He looked over at the man who still remained in place. Staring and unmoving. He knew there was something wrong with the image, but couldn't put his finger on it. He turned back to Nathan.

"Broken arm and concussion?"

"I swear to you Buck, he's fine. They should have him settled in a room by now."

It was coming together for him. "Head wound bleed bad then?"

"No. Didn't even need stitches." The light bulb went on for all four men at the same instant. Chris was first to Ezra's side as Josiah headed off for help.

"Ezra, look at me." He raised his head slowly in meek compliance. Some blood from his hands at transferred to his face and stood in stark contrast to the pallor. "Ezra – where are you hurt?"

"I'm fine Chris. It was JD. Focus on JD. He's unconscious. He's hurt."

"He's awake Ezra. He's got a concussion and hurt his arm. He's not bleeding, so that means you are. Where does it hurt Ezra?"

"No – I'm fine."

Chris was trying to see a wound, but nothing was evident. Nathan had a better angle on things and grabbed the now dry towel from the chair. He reached out and undid the remaining few inches of the zippered leather jacket. When it fell open they could see the shirt below soaked in blood.

"Shit!" Ezra tried to pull back when Nathan spoke, but Chris held him in place. "What are you doing? Leave me. It's JD who needs you." Sure, he was tired and cold, but that was nothing. They needed to focus on JD. The look of fear and worry on Buck's face confirmed to him just how badly hurt the young man must be. "I am so sorry," he pleaded, staring up at Buck. He felt Nathan press against his lower back and blacked out before hearing Buck's reply.

Ezra slumped forward, almost knocking Chris off his feet in the process. They began to lower him to the floor just as Josiah returned virtually dragging an intern behind him. "Look, you'll have to process your friend through triage and he'll be –". He stopped short when he saw the unconscious form covered in blood. Josiah scooped Ezra into the wheelchair that Buck had located and they all watched Nathan and the medical staff run down the hall. It had taken less than a minute. The last sound they heard was the call for a path to be cleared to the emergency OR.

Chris looked as his now bloodied hands and shirt, then glanced down at the clothes that had been left for Ezra. Why hadn't he insisted on having him change? They would have known about this two hours ago. He wouldn't have been just sitting there, slowly bleeding to death. No, not to death. That wasn't happening. They couldn't get JD back just to lose Ezra.

"What have I done?" Chris was surprised to realize those weren't his words. He turned to see Buck on the verge of collapsing. He was staring down the hall where Ezra had disappeared, unknowingly mimicking the man's own actions from a couple hours earlier. "I never even thought to ask him if he was ok. I just yelled at him. What the hell have I done?"

"Wasn't just you, Buck. We all did it. We assumed the worst, like we always do. We were focused on what we knew was wrong – JD."

"But how did we not see this?" Josiah asked.

"Cause it was Ezra. He wouldn't say anything about having an arm cut off if one of us got a paper cut at the same time."

"I just yelled at him." Buck still stared. "The last thing I said to him –"

"NO!" Chris cut him off. "Not the last thing. He's gonna be fine."

"Really? Did you see him? Look at the chair. Look at the blood."

Josiah tried to calm the mood. "He's strong Buck. Don't even think about giving up on him."

They had barely made it back to their seats when Vin charged into the room.

"How are they?"

"They? How did you know Ezra was hurt?" Josiah asked.

"Saw the video – how is he? How are they?"

"Video?" Chris was officially confused. "How the hell is there video of this?"

"I swear to you I will draw my gun and shoot the next man who asks a question instead of answering one. HOW ARE THEY?"

"JD's getting settled in his room. They want to observe him overnight. They're working on Ezra."

"Still?"

"Just started." Chris said softly.

"What the hell to you mean they just started? He was shot – what took so long? And why was he just sitting in the waiting room when we got here?"

"We didn't know he'd been hurt. No one did. Just figured it out a few minutes ago. Where did you see this video?"

Vin explained what Banner had filled him in on. The local cops had heard rumors of a deal going down. They assumed drugs, and had set up a stake out of their own. The surveillance cameras had recorded every minute of the nightmare.

"Banner thought you'd want it for our records, so he downloaded a copy. Nice to deal with a cop who cares more about the job than the bureaucrats." Vin poked at the screen of his tablet for minute, cursing quietly when he got jammed up, then finally turning it for the others to see. There was no sound, and the picture was grainy, but the unfolding scene was more than clear enough. They watched Ezra and JD stroll to the open end of the alley, then stop to talk. It was obvious Ezra was reacting to something and a moment later they saw him grab his partner, throwing him to the ground.

"Must be when he got hurt. Looks like a hard throw."

"Reflexes and adrenaline. He kept the kid alive." Buck was mentally kicking himself again.

An instant later Ezra dropped as well, covering JD with his body. "That when he was hit?" Chris asked. Vin shook his head. "Wait for it." He averted his eyes. He'd seen this once, and was in no hurry for a replay.

They could see Ezra shift himself, making sure the younger man was fully protected. In doing so, his jacket rode up, exposing his back. A few seconds later they saw his body jump slightly. Red began to spread on his lower back. He pushed himself up and grabbed the collar of JD's jacket, pulling him behind cover and out of sight. His head came out briefly, scanning for the shooter. A few minutes later the area was flooded with uniformed cops, and the video ended.

"They get the bastard?" Chris asked after a few moments of silence to absorb what they had watched.

"Yeah – he won't be asking for his lawyer. Idiot tried to shoot his way out."

"It didn't look like Ezra even knew he was hurt. He sure didn't act like he was."

"Shock." Nathan spoke the single word as he returned. "Looks like the bullet missed any vital organs. Swelling put some pressure on the lower spine. Not enough to cause problems, but enough to deaden the pain. They're getting him ready for surgery." No one dared to ask the question. "He lost a lot of blood. They need to stabilize his pressure and heart rhythm."

No one spoke. No one knew what to say. Chris sighed deeply and broke the silence. "Can we see JD yet?"

"That's the other reason I came out. He's in room 407. I told the surgical desk that's where we'd be. They'll send someone up when there's more news." The men gathered themselves and started toward the elevator. Vin turned back when he realized Buck wasn't with them.

"Thought you'd be the first through the door there Pard."

"He's got to make it Vin. He's got to."

He had no idea why Buck was so much more distressed than the others, but knew there had to be a good reason.

"You don't think he's gonna let something simple like this keep him down, do you?"

"We didn't even ask him if he was ok! I yelled at him Vin. Told him he was too selfish to take care of his partner." Vin's heart sank.

"He knows you didn't mean any of that Buck. He gets that you were scared."

"No, I don't think so. He looked like I was just saying what he already thought. Even when we figured he was hurt, he just kept telling us to take care of JD. He was apologizing to me when he passed out." Buck stopped trying to fight the tears.

"Come on Buck. Let's go see to JD. He's gonna be upset. He'll need you there – and he'll need you to be strong. I know you're scared, but he needs you."

"So did Ezra, and I fucked that up."

"So don't fuck this one up."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7

 ** _tbc_**


	2. Chapter 2

Josiah and Nathan were waiting at the elevator when Vin arrived, almost dragging Buck along with him.

"Chris already go in?"

"No, went out to his car to get a clean shirt. Didn't really want JD freaking out when he saw Ezra's blood. Think Chris needed to stop seeing it too." Nathan answered. "Buck, stop beating yourself up. Won't help Ezra, and it sure as hell won't help JD."

"Don't worry – I'm not gonna do anything to hurt him. Done enough damage for one day."

Not knowing any way to effectively respond to that, they waited quietly for Chris to return before descending on JD's room. Even though he was stretched out with his eyes closed, the young agent looked much better than they'd expected. If you ignored the cast, you'd have sworn he was just napping.

"He looks so damned relaxed." Josiah noted.

"Pain killers will do that to you." Came the slightly slurred response from the bed. "I feel real good." He opened his eyes reluctantly, grinning at the team. "This is good stuff, and they didn't even give me full strength." The grin faded somewhat as he looked at the others. Yeah, they were smiling, but it was less than convincing. "Are they lying to me? Is there something wrong with me?"

"Not a thing JD. You're fine." Nathan assured him.

"Yeah kid," Buck forced himself to keep his voice light. "Too damned hard-headed for any other result."

"Just had us a bit worried is all." Chris added. "Besides, you know how much we hate hospitals."

He looked at the men gathered around the bed. Not one of them looked the way they should if everything was fine. Then it dawned on him.

"Oh, that's just perfect. Ezra's in trouble, isn't he? Someone's finding a way to blame this on him. What? Did he shoot the guy who fired on us? Internal Affairs can't be questioning him about it. The bastard tried to kill us."

"Relax JD – there's no investigation."

"So, he's just stuck with all the paperwork? He must be pissed at me. I told him he was hearing things when he said he thought there was someone else in the alley. Next thing I know he's pushing me to the ground. Don't remember much after that."

"He knocked you out when you hit the ground-" Vin began.

"He didn't knock me out. I knocked me out when I fell. Stupid and clumsy is what knocked me out. Not him."

"Easy there JD. Nobody meant anything by it." Josiah advised.

"It wasn't his fault. I know Ezra. And I know right about now he is beating himself up for letting me get hurt, isn't he? He saves my neck when I'm too stupid to clue in on what's going on, and he ends up in all kinds of trouble for it."

"JD – nobody is in any kind of official trouble for what happened. You guys were doing your job and things went wrong in ways nobody could have foreseen." Chris tried to calm him down.

"So he doesn't feel responsible about this?" No one answered right away. "I knew it. He's off somewhere blaming himself that I ended up here. Trying to figure out how to apologize for something that's not even his fault. It's the only reason I could think of why he wasn't sitting next to the bed when I woke up earlier. I mean, it was either that or he got hurt, and you all wouldn't be here if that was the case." Again, there was silence. The colour drained from JD's face.

"He got hurt? How bad? He gonna be OK?" He asked in rapid succession, throwing the covers off. Nathan and Vin both reached out to stop him.

"Stay still JD. It may be just a mild concussion, but you start moving too fast and you'll end up on the floor."

"I'm fine Nathan. You said so yourself. What happened to Ezra? Damn it Chris, tell me. Is he dead?" He was starting to hyperventilate by the time he finished.

"No. Take it easy. Ezra's not dead. They're getting him stabilized for surgery. He was shot."

"Protecting me." It wasn't a question.

"Doing his job." Chris corrected. "And you would have done the same thing if the positions had been reversed."

"They wouldn't have been. I didn't see anything. Didn't hear anything. He knew there was trouble before it started, and I just kidded him about being paranoid." He worked at calming himself down. "You said getting him stabilized. How bad was he hit?" He looked to Nathan.

"Shot in the lower back. Doesn't look like anything vital was hit, and the bullet isn't near the spine. He just – well he lost a lot of blood and they're just trying to get him stable before they operate."

"Why is it taking so long? What aren't you telling me?"

"JD, you need to relax. Everything is going to be fine." Vin insisted, trying to convince himself at the same time.

"Buck. You are way too quiet. Tell me what they won't."

"Nothing else to tell."

"Bull. You tell me what is going on, or I'm going down there myself, as is, hospital gown flapping in the wind. I don't care. Tell me."

"We didn't know JD. We didn't know he'd been hurt. He didn't say anything." The strain was evident on his face and in his voice.

"How could you not know he'd been shot?"

Nathan took over. "I don't think he even knew. He was in shock. He was worried about you. His jacket covered the wound, and even the colour camouflaged it. He kept the jacket zippered too, which kept some pressure on it. But he still lost a lot of blood. Once they get some back into him they can take him to surgery and finish fixing him up."

One look at Buck told the young agent there was more to the story, but for the moment he had only one concern. "He's gonna be OK?" The tentative question was almost whispered.

"I think so. He's one stubborn son of a bitch, and I don't see this being enough to stop him."

"Besides," Josiah added, "he'll be so worried about you, he'll have to wake up."

"He was here, at the hospital, and no one knew he was hurt? How could you guys all have missed that?" JD was having trouble understanding it.

"We were worried about you kid. We knew you were hurt and since he wasn't saying anything…"

"But you're sitting right beside him for hours. How could you not know?" He paused as he thought it through. "You weren't sitting with him, were you? You left him alone?" He waited for someone to deny it. "Oh God, Buck. Tell me you didn't. Tell me you didn't blame him about this."

"We didn't know what had happened." Chris tried to intercede, but Buck cut him off.

"Yeah. I did. I thought he'd let you get hurt and I was mad. And scared. And stupid."

"Well the stupid part I believe. He saved my life Buck."

"Well I know that now."

"You should have known it then. How could you think for a second he was to blame for this?"

"He shouldn't have taken you out there like that. Not on a job like that."

JD stared at him with an intensity none of them expected. "You've seen my ATF badge haven't you Buck? You know I didn't get that from a cereal box? I EARNED my badge. I took the classes, passed the training. I am a God Damn ATF agent. I'm not some kid on a high school assignment. Going out on jobs like that is what I do."

"You don't have the experience-"

"And just how am I supposed to get it if nobody lets me get out from behind my computer? I went with Ezra to get more experience. I figure it's always smartest to learn from the best. That's why I have Vin help me with my shooting. Josiah is teaching me about profiling people. Nathan has taught me more about first aid than any class could. And Chris – well mostly he teaches me how to be the best agent I can be. You guys all teach me every day, and I teach you about the computers and tech stuff. It's why we are so damn good together."

Chris smiled for the first time in hours. JD rarely stood up for himself, but when he did, it was a sight to see. And watching him go after Buck, well that was really special. He just hoped it was what his friend needed now.

Buck was afraid to ask, but needed to know. "What about me kid? What do I teach you?"

JD looked him in the eye. "You teach me about life Buck. You show me how to handle things, how to cope with things, how to get along. Chris teaches me to be the best agent I can be. You teach me to be the best me that I can be. Although sometimes, like now, you teach better by showing me what **not** to do."

"Aw hell."

"And that response is why I count on Ezra rather than you to improve the way I talk too." JD let a hint of a smile come to his face. "Seriously though Buck. Do you know how it feels when you all treat me like that? When you always call me kid?"

"Now you know we don't mean anything by it. After all, you are the youngest here, so it's kind of natural," he replied.

"And Josiah is the oldest, but you don't go around pointing that out all the time. No offense, Josiah."

"None taken. Age is a simple fact of survival."

"How does it make you feel JD?" Chris asked, genuinely curious.

"Like you don't respect me. Don't think of me like a peer."

"That's not true. I think you know that. I count on you for all kinds of stuff. We all do. Yeah, we don't like it when you go out on a case. You said it; you don't have the experience. So, when you **are** out, I worry. But you gotta know I worry about the others too. In a lot of ways, more than I do about you." They all looked at Chris, surprised.

"You guys are the best in the agency. Probably in any agency. But let's face it – you're reckless. Hot-headed. Impulsive. Fearless. And a hell of a lot more vulnerable than any of you admit. And I'm no better. The fact the hospital is thinking about putting in an express lane for our team shows just how vulnerable. At least JD still has a degree of common sense. Much more time with you guys and I'm sure it will disappear."

"We all worry about each other. That's kind of what we're about. And you're the youngest, so you get the most attention. Has nothing to do with respect. Just the way things are." Nathan agreed.

"Hate to be contrary Nathan, but JD here doesn't cause me the most worry." Josiah has a sad smile. "Now don't get me wrong JD. I worry about you. Worry about all of you. We haven't exactly picked the safest line of work, and like Chris implied, there isn't a man here smart enough to know how to stay away from trouble. But it's Ezra that keeps me awake some nights."

"Yeah, we do put him in some bad situations. Goes with the undercover nature of what he does." Chris reluctantly concurred.

"That's not it. I have faith in him that way. Not saying I don't know things can go wrong, but that's kinda out of our control. It's how he deals with things that worries me. Today is a perfect example. Even when we tried to let him know he was hurt, it was only JD he could think about. He didn't need Buck, or any of us, blaming him. He'd already taken that on. He simply doesn't see himself as worthwhile."

"That the profiler in you talking?" Vin asked.

"In part. More the friend though. He spent so much time alone, even when he was with other people, that he just doesn't completely accept that he belongs anywhere. It's like he's always waiting to be rejected. Expecting it. The minute something goes south, he's taking the blame to get it over with."

"And just as often as not, we let him." Chris realized.

"We're not as bad as others have been. The FBI, his past co-workers. Hell, his own mother. They all dumped him whenever things got out of hand." Nathan added.

Josiah was nodding. "So, as much as we all think of JD as our little brother in need of protection, it's really Ezra who needs us. Even though he'd deny it with his last breath."

"Don't you mean **because** he'd deny it?" JD corrected.

"Guess maybe I do."

A tap at the door gave a welcomed interruption to the discussion. "You look like some men in need of good news." The nurse smiled as she entered. "The doctor has reviewed your x-rays, and if you feel up to it, and have someone to keep an eye on you, you don't need to stay overnight Agent Dunne." JD let out a small 'whoop' of celebration.

"Any word on Ezra?" He asked, sobering quickly.

"They got him stabilized. He's just going into surgery now. The bullet is fairly deep as is went into soft flesh. No bone to slow it down. It may be a little while yet till we know more." She looked at the concerned faces. "They wouldn't be operating unless he was ready."

She headed out, leaving the men to make arrangements.

"OK. I assume you want to go home JD." Chris took charge of the planning.

"No. I want to wait to see Ezra."

"Not tonight. Like she said, this could be a while, and he'll be in recovery after that. You need to get some rest."

"I'm not leaving until he's outta surgery and I see him."

"Look, let Buck take you home and he can bring you back in the morning."

"No, I won't. I'm staying here."

"You're staying with JD."

"I'm staying with Ezra. Not a damn thing you can say or do to change that Chris, so don't even try." They stared each other down for almost a full minute before Chris finally blinked.

"Fine. Vin, you stay with JD."

"Vin doesn't have the room for that. JD will stay with me for the night." Josiah countered.

"Besides, I'm gonna keep Buck company, since you'll be going back to the office to make sure all the idiots who want to investigate this are taken care of." Vin added.

The room was filled with an exasperated sigh. "I am still the boss here right?"

"Sure you are Chris. We follow you blindly and never challenge your authority."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you Nathan." Chris growled.

Josiah grinned as he handed JD his clothes. "Get dressed kid. They'll call us if we're needed. Ezra would want you getting some rest and taking care of yourself. You owe it to him to do that."

"That's playing dirty Josiah." JD responded, taking the clothing and heading to the bathroom. "Didn't know you had it in you."

"Someone has to keep an eye on you guys."

Chris flopped down onto the bed JD had vacated. "Maybe I'll just stay here. Check myself in, get some rest."

"You say something Chris?" Vin asked innocently.

"OK – Josiah takes JD home, I go to the office and make sure everything is under control – which would be a first – and you and Nathan make sure Buck behaves himself. That cover everything?"

"Yes Boss!" JD said, settling into the wheelchair so he could get out of there. No one was fooled for a moment by the banter, as every thought focused on the man downstairs. They all slowly headed out on there own paths.

Vin and Buck settled themselves in waiting room chairs while Nathan went to get some dinner for them. Josiah led a reluctant JD to his car, promising they'd be back as soon as visiting hours allowed.

Chris made his way out through the emergency room waiting area. He looked over to the spot where Ezra had slowly allowed himself to bleed out. The area had long ago been cleaned, but he would have been willing to swear he still saw the blood. Shaking his head sadly, he headed into the office to ensure there were no consequences to the events of the day. He had a feeling solving the bureaucratic issues was going to be the easiest fix of the day.

 _M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7_

 ** _tbc_**

 _I'll try not to keep you waiting to long, but I'm away for the weekend. That will give Ezra some time to recover._


	3. Chapter 3

Buck had completely lost track of time and everything else when he felt Vin tap him on the leg. Looking at him he got a nod indicating they weren't alone anymore. Ezra's surgeon was coming into the room. The smile on her face dissipated much of the tension in a hurry.

"Came through it like the experienced patient he his. He'll be keeping us company for a few days to get his strength back, but I expect he'll be home before the weekend. In answer to what I know is your next question, he'll be in recovery for a while longer, and then moved to a private room where you can see him. Not all at once. He'll be asleep for several hours." She watched the smiles light up their faces. As she turned to leave she couldn't help thinking to herself that some days this job really was gratifying.

Vin had already started dialing Chris at the same time Buck was calling Josiah. Promises were made all around that they would avoid invading the hospital until morning, on the condition the three men who had spent the evening in the waiting room also went home to rest. They agreed, with everyone knowing Buck was lying.

"At least try to sleep while you're waiting." Vin asked of him. "You making yourself sick won't help anybody." He knew the "I'll do that" response was another lie.

Buck didn't even have to sweet talk his way into Ezra's room. The head nurse looked up, then glance to one of her colleagues. "Tell Josie she won the bet." She looked back at Buck. "My money was on fearless leader staying the night. Your boy is in room 9. Keep it quite and let him sleep or I will toss you out on your ass – understood." Buck gave a weary smile for a response and headed down the hall. She turned to her young colleague again. "Wish I had friends that loyal." "Are you kidding?" the young woman answered. "I don't even have family that loyal."

Ezra was still ghostly pale, and despite the sedatives he'd been given, managed to look anxious and upset. Buck settled into the uncomfortable chair next to the bed. He had no intention of getting out of it again until he could apologize, hoping Ezra would accept it. It struck him at one point it was more likely his effort would be refused based on what Josiah had been saying, rather than any reticence about letting him off the hook. He came to the conclusion, as he had more time to think about it, that getting Ezra to acknowledge he was not to blame was going to be a challenge.

He didn't stay all night in the chair. He was up pacing more often than not, and when he did sit, he fussed and fidgeted to the point of distraction. He was in pacing mode when JD showed up in the morning.

"He awake yet?" Buck nearly jumped out of his skin, not having heard the door open.

"Damn kid – JD," he corrected, "don't be sneaking up like that. No, not yet. Nurse was here a while ago. She knocked first by the way. Said it could be any minute now, or a few hours off. No way to predict. How you feeling?"

"A little tired. And my arm itches."

"Always do when you can't scratch. Here – sit." He pulled the chair around.

"Buck – you know I'm not mad at you, right? At any of you? I know you don't mean anything when you call me kid. I get that it's just the big brother kind of deal. Actually, I kind of like it sometimes."

"Don't tell me that kept you awake last night?"

"That, and other things. I was thinking about what Josiah said. Wishing we could figure a way to get Ezra where he can relax around us. Stop worrying that we're gonna kick him out or something. It doesn't help that he hates it when we fuss about him at all. Guess that's all part of the problem too."

"What problem?" Vin poked his head in the door. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah, come in. He's still asleep. We were talking about what Josiah said."

"Time is the only answer. You have to think about how much Ezra has changed since he first joined up with us. That guy doesn't exist anymore."

"Oh, he exists Vin. He just doesn't dominate the way he used to."

"Morning Josiah. Figured you had to be close behind when I saw JD here." Vin looked at the bags in the big man's hands. "Breakfast?"

"Well, what passes for it at the cafeteria downstairs."

"You do realize you are supposed to be quiet in here so he can rest. I could hear you as soon as I got of the elevator." Chris entered the room and headed straight to the bedside. He'd been hoping Ezra would be looking a little more lifelike, but it was still a huge improvement over the last memory he had.

"Chris, you know we don't do quiet. Besides, he's got enough sedative in him to sleep through a stampeding herd of elephants."

"Good thing JD, cause that's what you all sound like." He looked over to Buck, who was again settled into the chair since JD hadn't taken it. "You sit there all night?"

"When I wasn't pacing."

"You finish beating yourself up?"

"Not yet."

"Gentlemen?" They all went quiet at the word, looking toward the door and seeing the unforgiving glare of the floor's head nurse. "If there isn't peace and quiet in here I will personally throw each and every one of you off the floor and ban you from returning. Is that understood?"

A surprisingly meek round of "yes ma'am" and related apologies filled the air.

"Good. Now, the doctor says he's making a good recovery. Getting stronger and no infection, so I think you can all stop worrying quite so much." She turned, smiling only when they could no longer see her face. If all of her patients had that kind of support team around them, her life would be a lot easier. Noisier – but easier.

They settled in, joined a few minutes later by Nathan who was given the warning about keeping quiet. He glared his response accordingly. After about 30 minutes of comparative silence, JD stood and moved next to Chris.

"Josiah tells me there is video of what happened." Chris shot a dirty look at the informant. "I want to see it."

"You don't want to see that JD."

"No, probably not. But I need to. The rest of you saw what he did for me. I deserve that too."

"You know what he did."

"I know what you told me. I have to see it for myself. Please."

Chris thought fleetingly that there had been a time in his life he rarely sighed. He missed those days. "You have the laptop?"

"My tablet", he said, starting to hand it over. Chris waived it off. "You'll find it faster. Even one handed. In my folders, in the case file."

A few minutes later JD turned off the tablet and stared in disbelief at Ezra. "He completely covered me. He was on top when he was shot. That should be me."

"Don't go there kid." Buck cautioned. "If it was you stretched on that bed he'd be tearing himself apart about it. Hell, that's exactly what he was doing in the ER. He did what he had to do out in that alley. Not as an agent. Not as your partner. As Ezra. If I'd recognized that yesterday he wouldn't have been sitting bleeding for two hours."

Chris had heard enough. "Both of you knock it off. The only thing we need to think about right now making sure he gets the rest he needs, and comes to his own senses about who is to blame in all of this. And in case any of you haven't figured it out, that would be the bastard on the roof with the gun."

"You know that's not entirely true Chris."

"It is for now. Buck – there is a huge pile of crap to deal with from all of this. Can we just for now take it one issue at a time?" He got a shrug for a response, but decided for now that would have to do. He turned to study JD, who still stared at Ezra.

"JD – look at me. You would have done the same thing if the situation had been reversed. You may not be sure of it, but I am. We all are."

"I guess I know that. It's just, to see it. To see him do that. It's hard to figure."

"Please tell me that is the voice of Mr. Dunne I am hearing."

"Hey there Ezra. Yup. Me. Safe and sound, thanks to you. No, you stay still. You aren't supposed to do anything but rest for the next 48 hours."

Ezra ignored the order and tried to move, with no success. He settled for turning his head, and found himself staring at JD's cast.

"Good Lord, I broke your arm."

"You saved my life Ezra. My injuries are a small price to pay."

"Injuries? More than just your arm?"

"Ezra, it's nothing. My God, you were shot. A bump on the head doesn't come close to mattering after that."

"I knew I had hit you to hard. I am sorry. I did not intend-"

"Please Ezra – shut up. I am fine. I would likely not be if you hadn't pushed me. We are not supposed to be getting you upset or excited, so please, just calm down."

"Was anyone else hurt?"

"Just you." Chris answered. "And when you feel stronger, we are going to have us a little chat about all of this. Right now, you listen to JD. You are supposed to be resting."

"Why?"

"Because after surgery it is a good idea to give your body a bit of time to return to what passes for normal. We've been through this often enough for you to know the drill Ezra." Nathan smiled as he explained, assuming the drugs still had the patient a bit addled.

"Why was I in surgery? Mr. Dunne was injured, so why was I in surgery? Did he say I was shot?"

"You still don't remember?" Vin looked worried, but Nathan waved him back.

"Ezra, you're still a bit groggy, so don't worry about it. You got hurt right after you pushed JD out of the line of fire."

"You got hurt protecting me Ezra. You saved my life." JD repeated, still a bit awestruck by the full extent of Ezra's actions.

"That does not match my recollection."

"That's 'cause you spent too much time blaming yourself about something you had no control in." Chris explained. "Like Nathan said, no point in worrying about in now. Now all you have to do is get yourself better. And that means rest, which means peace and quiet. We're gonna let you get some sleep. One of us will stay, but the rest are going into work. We'll be back later. That sound OK? Ezra? Great – you guys ignore me, and he falls asleep while I'm talking to him. I used to be feared and respected. What happened?" Vin just smirked in response, but decided it was in his best interest to keep any further response to himself. The others followed that lead.

"Josiah, make yourself comfortable. You get to stay for now. Buck, shut up. You are going home and getting some sleep. At least stretch out for a bit. I am not losing this argument."

"I need to talk to him Chris."

Josiah answered for Chris. "That's all well and good Buck. But don't you think that might go better if both of you get some rest and perspective first. Ezra's gonna fight what you think you need to tell him."

Chris nodded. "I won't have you saying anything you'll both regret just because you're too tired to think before you open that big mouth."

JD looked up from his spot beside the bed. "I think I should stay Chris. Don't feel up to going into the office."

"Fine – then we check you back into the hospital, to a room on another floor so you can rest. Don't try to con me JD – Ezra hasn't taught you that well yet." JD had the grace to look embarrassed. "You need to come in to make a statement. We'll bring you back after, unless you really do need to get rest."

"I do, but I need to be here more."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

"Ezra –"

"Please, don't."

"Don't what. Don't tell you how wrong I was?" Buck was certain Ezra didn't want to speak with him, and he could completely understand why.

Night had fallen, and after a long day of waking confused, and drifting back to sleep it seemed like Ezra was finally free from the influence of the medications he'd been on. He was still getting pain medication, but the dose was small enough to allow his mind to be comparatively clear again. He remembered the alley, he remembered the waiting room. And he remembered what Buck had said to him.

"Don't apologize. One should never apologize for speaking the truth, however unpleasant it might be to hear."

"You see, that's where you've got it all wrong. Because I had it all wrong"

"If you are trying to confuse me, you are making a valiant effort. I misjudged the situation. I underestimated the opposition. Once again, I put far to much faith in my own abilities, and Mr. Dunne paid the price for it."

"You see – there is just all kinds of wrong in that statement."

"I implore you Mr. Wilmington, find a word other than 'wrong'."

"Not like you Ezra. I don't have a list of other words to use. Guess I could say I messed up. Or screwed up. Or fuc-"

"Yes, I get the point. But whichever phrase you choose, you are erroneous."

"Show off."

"My arrogance almost cost our young colleague his life. It is only by the grace of God he is still with us."

"What you call the grace of God, I call Ezra. You do realize that you are in this hospital bed because you took a bullet aimed at him?"

"Aimed at us. Because I took him into a treacherous circumstance. It was my job, my duty, to protect him."

"Don't let him here you say that. We all got an earful about how it ain't our job to protect him, he's not a kid, real badge. It was quite a performance. I'm sure he'll be happy to repeat it for you if you slip up like that in front of him."

"He was my partner and I let him down."

"He was your partner, and you saved his life."

"And as he so vehemently reminded us – he's a grown man who can make his own decisions." Chris had been relieved to hear his two men talking as he'd walked down the hall, but less than thrilled with the discussion as he got close enough to hear Ezra's words. He hoped to set the record straight once and for all. "We all look out for each other. And when one of us screws up – and I am NOT saying that is what happened – then we stick together and make things right."

"Which is what I need to do Ezra. I had no right to say what I did in the waiting room."

Chris felt is own mia culpa was due. "None of us did. We were so damn scared about the kid we forgot about the team. Damn near to being a fatal mistake."

"What you have to understand Ezra," Buck continued, "is that we were every bit as scared when we realized you were hurt. When I watched them take you into emergency, I think I was actually more afraid. See, I knew that if – God forbid – JD hadn't made it, at least he knew how I felt about him. How I think of him. But the last thing you heard from me is yelling and cursing. Damn it Ezra, we sat that letting you bleed because we were to damn stupid to see the big picture."

"You think I am unaware of how I am seen by the team?"

"Yeah – I do. We do."

"You see me as family, as one of you. You believe me to be a worthy member of the group, to be part of the whole. Is that not accurate? Is that not why the words you spoke in the heat of the moment cause you such concern now?" Ezra looked at Buck, who merely nodded.

Both men looked at him dumbfounded. "Yeah, that pretty much covers it." Chris stated. "If you get it, why do you keep beating yourself up the way you do?"

"I stated that I understood how I am perceived by the team. I did not say the perception was accurate."

"I thought you had a higher opinion of us than that Ezra." Vin had been standing at the door, with the others, for the last few phrases of the discussion.

"My opinion of you, of all of you, is not in dispute here."

"I'd have to disagree. See, we all agree on what you said about how we see you. But apparently, you have decided we are lousy judges of character."

"That's pretty insulting Ezra." JD added.

"No, everybody has a blind spot. Someone who they know is flawed, but who they accept regardless. For me, it is my mother. For you, it is me. Once again, that blind faith proved exceedingly dangerous."

"That blind faith saved my life Ezra. You can argue it or deny it or explain it away all you want, but it doesn't change a damn thing."

"You really should surrender you know." Nathan spoke calmly. "One would have to assume after this much time with us, you'd have figured out that we are six ridiculously stubborn, pig headed men. You can deny your worth all you want – we don't buy it. Give it up."

"One thing you do have right in all of this Ezra, is that I am mad as hell about how this all went down."

"I knew I could count on you Mr. Larabee. Your perception of me has always been the least imprudent. Mr. Jackson is a close second."

"Don't leap to the wrong conclusion. I'm not mad about the alley, I am royally pissed about what came after. They can talk about shock and confusion and any other excuse they want, but I know you. You didn't consider yourself important enough to need the attention. You will put any and everybody else first. You've been accused of being selfish for so long you will go to any length now to make sure nobody here sees you that way. Now, if you want to play it that way when it comes to credit for case, or to acknowledging who you really are under all that fancy act, that's one thing. But if you ever again put your health on the line like that, I will kick your sorry ass to the curb. I will not put you in a position where you feel you need to get yourself killed just so no one will think less of you. Do you understand me?"

Ezra stared back, unwilling and unable to answer. He couldn't process any more of this. The shooting, the waiting, the tension, the anger. It was all playing out in his mind again. He fought back the feelings that were threatening to break through the façade that had been weakened by the past few days. He could almost physically feel the revelation hitting him. It seemed to simple for him to accept. He trusted them, and they trusted him. Logic would dictate then that he was trustworthy. Could it be that simple? Or was he just that tired? He looked at Chris for a few more seconds, then allowed the gaze to expand to the others. They meant it.

They all saw the moment Ezra's professional poke face slipped away. "If that is the case Mr. Larabee – Chris, I suppose this might be a good time to tell you that I am sore, and tired, and more than a little out of sorts. I think I am in need of a good night of peace and quiet. Alone."

"You get what I'm saying Ezra?" Chris asked again.

"I do."

"You going to behave yourself from now on?"

"Good Lord Chris. I may have had an epiphany, but I did not have a personality transplant. You would be bored to tears if I – if any of us – were to start behaving. What a ridiculous notion." Chris groaned at the genuine smile Ezra favoured them with.

"Honestly, there was a point I had some degree of control over this crowd."

"Yeah Cowboy," Buck grinned. "You keep telling yourself that."

 _ **The End.**_

 _(Hope you liked this, 'cause you are all going to hate me big time when I publish the next one!)_


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